So I’ve decided that if I don’t end up going back to school, I’m going to try and devote myself to a serious formal study of math and/or physics. I’m leaning towards math right now, mostly because I find more topics in mathematics interesting than in physics (where I mostly am interested in the high energy stuff and some quantum stuff). But if I am going to do this, I’m going to do it right. That means a serious schedule of working through textbooks, doing problems and, and I think this is key, summarizing and fleshing out what I’ve learned right here on this blog. My problem is that I’ve always been looking at the horizon, and rarely do I ever look down at what I’m supposed to be focussed on right now. Honestly, I’m not sure if that will change. But I’m going to give it a try. There’s nothing lost if I fail. And, I think, there is much to be potentially gained.
Am I totally crazy to think I can teach myself advanced mathematics without a program, fellow students and a graduate advisor? In some sense, yes, I am totally crazy. But on the other hand, I think there are some pros to doing things this way. I haven’t gotten them all figured out yet, but for starters, I’m not sure I am in a position to get into a graduate program in math at this point, at least not given my current geographic location and lack of formal training. So, if math is what I want to study, I don’t have a lot of options. Besides, I revel in the thought of doing things my own way, off the beaten path, even if that path is so far away from the beaten path that odds are no one will ever know where I went or know to come looking for me should I get lost, or should I discover some brilliant theorem. But I feel that mathematics is more of an art form than anything else, and I will count myself among those starving artists out there who spend their days toiling away on works of art that may never see the light of day. Also, I do believe that the internet gives me an advantage over someone in my situation (who would put themselves in this precarious situation, I’m not sure) from years earlier. I will have the option to correspond with people on online forums. Not that it is a substitute for an advisor and actual colleagues. But it is better than nothing.
Anyways, I call it my five year plan. I figure it will take a year to review basic undergraduate material, then two years to learn graduate level mathematics and another year to learn any more specialized material. The last year would be my first chance to take a crack at actually solving some problems, a la a thesis of sorts.
Is this going to happen? If my track record is any indication, probably not. But I’ll be damned if I let that keep me from trying.
